Bye Bye Hostess

So Hostess are closing their doors and the nation is weeping over the loss of the Twinkie.  Many here in England have never even heard of a Twinkie and they probably aren't aware of the Hostess Company.  I am glad that Mom & Libbie were able to send some to the UK so that Mark and the kids were able to enjoy this amazing US treat before it went belly up.

America is in mourning for the loss of the Twinkie and, over the last week, many analogies have been made to Zombie Land, and many people are now placing dibs on calling themselves Talahassee.  If you've not seen the movie you won't really get the reference.  I don't know if many people are going to write odes to their love of the yellow snack cake of yummy goodness.  I don't intend on doing that.  Instead, I wish to write why, for personal reasons, I am saddened by the closing of Hostess.

I have fond memories of my childhood that are intimately tied into the the DingDong.  When I was young I spent the night at my best friend's house all the time.  We were inseperable and we did everything together.  We met when we were 3 & 4.  I had just turned 4 and she was three months from it herself.  She had come across the street and introduced herself, asked if I wanted to be friends and that, my friends, is history.  Unfortunately life happened and we were split up in junior high school when she was sent to a different school and though we kept in touch, we didn't spend all day every day together.

But those years in between...

Whenever I'd spend the night R's mother would wake us up stupid early.  She had to be at work at the Army Depot early in the morning so she'd wake us up, make sure we were dressed, then she'd get us into her ancient VW bug, it was orange.  I think this is why I like bugs, even the newer ones.  The next stop was the Arco on Mack Road where she'd get gas, two packs of Salem 100s and R & I would get something, whatever we wanted.  Sometimes we got those six pack of powdered donuts, sometimes they were the chocolate ones, or we'd get the DingsDongs (my personal favourite), we'd get the cupcakes, and yes, we'd even get twinkies.  She would sometimes get Snowballs but I hate coconut so I'd never get those.  And then we'd eat it in the car on the way to my house.  My Mom watched R before and after school while her mom worked.  It worked out for everyone, R had a safe place to go to after school and I got to spend all day with my best friend.

We did that every morning, day in and day out, year after year.  It was like that when we moved, when they moved, it didn't matter.  Each morning I spent the night, it was Hostess something in the morning.  To this day I still like to grab something from the Hostess stand when I'm at the gas station.  I usually end up grabbing a diet coke and a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos, but I always eye them.  Now I wish I did more than just eye them.

It wasn't just having a Hostess snack cake in the morning, it was the stupid things we did with them too.    I remember a favourite, prodded by R I believe, was to take a cheese dorito chip, dip it into the cream filling and eat it off the chip.  That was some good eating right there, no joke.  We ate weird things as kids.  I've not done that in years but I am always tempted to if I have something Hostess in hand and cheese doritos in the other.  I'm firmly convinced that that particular combination of snack food has got to be disgusting and so I've never done it as an adult.  Now I wish I had.

So yes, I am saddened about the closing of Hostess, not only due to the implications of it closing has on the rest of the country, but because it's closing a door on the chance to relive some adored childhood memories.

Living the Life of Filey

If I've not said it before, I'll say it now, I love living in Filey.  I feel at home here.  I have always loved small towns, quiet places and this town suits me to a T.  Sure, there're no UA or Century (UK translation: Reel or VUE cinemas) just down the street, there's no Target  or Raley's or even a large Tesco (though there is a Tesco).  If we wanted to do any major shopping we'd need to go to Scarborough or Hull, the two closest cities.  But I don't mind, we don't do much major shopping and we go into Hull once a month anyway.

But Filey is a small, quiet seaside town and I have come to realize that I am eminently suited to Filey living.  Our neighbors probably remember historical events dating back to the 40s though I am sure a good number of them were doing the sock hop in the early 50s.  And I love the fact that Mark & I are probably the youngest couple in our part of the neighborhood by about 50 years.  Love it.

But there are other things I love about living here and here's one: laundry.

We have a washing machine in our borrowed bungalow but no dryer, but we don't need one.  The backyard is eminently suitable for drying clothes.  Mark put up a line when we first moved in and the sun and the wind make the perfect dryer.  Just today I was taking down dry clothes, putting up wet clothes for drying when I smelled the dry clothes.  They smelled clean, as they should but they also smelled of the ocean.  It's been overcast all day but the wind has been gently blowing off the North Sea all day and though the sun hasn't been out to help the wind dry the clothes, they are getting dry.  And now the clothes smell of clean soap and the ocean.

There are few things that smell as good as something clean but add the bracing scent of sea air and it opens up memories.  Just one scent of the laundry reminds me of happy days with my family.  I remember a picture, in particular of my sister, my brother and I wrapped up in a blanket with the Pacific behind us.  It was a cold, cold day on that beach.  We'd been in a parade with the Sacramento Youth Band just earlier that day and it had been hot, the Benicia parades were always hot, but it was cold on the beach and either Mom or Dad caught a picture of the three of us bundled against the cold.  It was a good, fun day.  And just one scent reminds me of those good days.  It reminds me of happy times with my family.

So yeah, I like doing laundry, I enjoy putting it up on the line and I enjoy taking it down, folding it and putting it away.  I like the memories they give me.  I like the memory of being a young child and playing outside while Mom put white sheets on the line in the backyard of our house on Village Wood Drive.  Those were happy days and happy memories.

Which is one more reason I love living in Filey.

Home

In two days I will have been away from home for 12 months.  That's 365 days, five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes (you know the song) since I've been home.  It will have been the longes time I have ever been away from home.

It's not always been easy.  When I first arrived in England I had to learn to use the crosswalk all over again.  People drove on the wrong side of the street, I had to look right first then left and the road systems made no sense at all.  I felt like someone who had been picked up and dropped in a crazy land and I wondered how I'd adapt.

And then I had my first experience in a grocery store and I nearly had a slight panic attack- this wasn't Raley's, it didn't look like Raley's and I wanted at least the grocery section from Target!  Food was strange here and I encountered the daunting tasking of finding something as simple as a bread I liked.  I didn't recognize any of the brands and I still haven't found Oroweat's Potato Bread.  I don't think it exists here.  And the eggs, I was shocked when the Gunton took me from the refrigerated sections to get some eggs.  They were brown and on shelves.  What was this place?

I posted Culture Shock of the Day on my facebook page until one by one, they were no longer a shock and they became normal.  I eventually stopped looking left then right when crossing the street, I got my UK driving license and I learned to drive on the left as if I had been doing it my entire life.  I still get confused at times which side is the driver's but then... you can't toss out a lifetime of experience so quickly.

I am now living in a seaside resort town off the coast of the North Sea in North Yorkshire and I love it here.  I no longer have insane cravings for Mexican food since I can find tortillas and refried beans.  I can do the rest myself.  I no longer notice that people speak differently than me and I find it hard to decide if someone is driving on the 'wrong' side of the road when I watch something on TV.  I have settled into the Yorkshire life, and I really like it here.

And it makes me think of Home.  I've had some bad moments of home sickness, none more so than on Boxing Day when I was around people I didn't know and who weren't making a huge attempt to make me feel as if I were a part of their family.  I wanted to go home, so we did.  I was so upset I couldn't even talk to my mommy, even though she was the only person I wanted to talk to.  But I got over it and life moved on.  I had my Gunton, and the cats and, if I missed my dog, well, I had my Gunton and that's good enough.

So now I'm facing a year away from home and my year long MA program is coming to a close and I am coming to the realization that I might have to go home when my visa expires on Jan 23, 2013.  This gives us one more round of birthdays and holidays before I'll have to go back to CA and I don't like it.  I don't want to leave my Gunton.

But I miss home.

I get constant emails from Chili's about their latest coupons and I think about how much I miss Chili's.  Mom & my sister go to Denny's a lot and I am reminded how much I miss Denny's.  And Pizza, oh, I do miss Lamppost Pizza.  Nothing here even hopes to compare.  I just miss everything that's familiar and reeks of Home.

And yet, I am home.  I am reminded of that scene in Fiddler on the Roof where the one daughter is leaving her family to be with the man she loves saying that with him, she is home.  That scene has always made me cry.  There's nothing overly foreign about England anymore.  I understand the roads, and am comfortable on them.  I am fully confident going into any grocery store and I know where to find my eggs, cheese and I know the difference between the different labels of milk.  I know what kind of bread I like and I know that just because this bread is £1, doesn't mean it's not as good as the one £2.50.  I also know I don't like the taste of the bread that's £2.50.  Yorkshire has become to feel like home to me.  If I am here next year I have every intent on going to the festivals for Yorkshire Day and if I were to raise children here, I'd be happy knowing they'd be raised (not permanently) in Yorkshire.  I want to see the day when I walk my children down to the beach from our house just because we live a 10 minute walk from it.  I can see a life with us, with children here in England.

But as much I might love it here, I am a Californian and that is never going to change.  I can't wait to go Home, but I hate to leave the one I have here too.

The 20th marks a year since I've been in England, a whole year, 12 months, 365 days, 525,600 minutes.  And tonight we're going to have a lovely dinner of pork tenderloin, fried potatoes, corn, salad and garlic bread washed down with ligonberry mead that Mom & I made a few years back to celebrate since we'll be in Hull all day thursday and might not get another chance this week.

But no matter where Home ends up being in January, I've still got my Gunton and really, that's good enough for me.

With Mommy Day 3!

Thursday, July 5, 2012


Today is the third day Mom's been here in England and today we are going to Beverley!  She really wants to see the Beverley Minster, which is very beautiful.  After a restful (mostly) night's sleep, Mark & I got up obscenely early to see if he could work today.  He was so close to working this AM but he was sent home.  Sigh.  Well, at least he can spend the day with Mom & me, and I would have sorely missed him had he not been with us (I'm funny like that).
Once we returned home, we made breakfast and then we sat about for a while, eating, talking, digesting.  Finally Mom hopped into the shower, we all got dressed for the day and, after buying cat food (and taking mom on a not good roundabout), we headed to Beverley!  Mark took excellent video from Mom's phone of a couple of roundabouts as we made a stop at the pet store for more cat food.


Our first stop in Beverley was somewhere to park.  We originally parked at the Beverley Tesco but it only has a 3 hour parking limit and we didn't want to feel rushed so Mom & Mark went ahead and I returned for the car, found a pay & display parking lot and met up with them.  When I arrived they were sitting outside, obviously waiting for me.

Beverley Minster

You can, if you try, see them off to the left behind the rows of cars.  They didn't want to go in without me, isn't that nice?

Hi

See, I told you they were waiting for me.  Then we entered and it is just as beautiful and big today as it was when I visited it in October with the Gunton clan.  After paying the £3 fee to take pictures, Mom set about doing just that.  Yes, there is a fee of £3 to take pictures.  She got a badge and everything.

It didn't stick to her shirt too well but, she was officially permitted to take pictures... me, not so much.  She will be uploading the pictures we took at the Minster later today, once we have them off of all the camera devices.  And we have one more device to clear first.

And now, if you're anything like my sister, you wanna know why it's called a Minster.  This is a very good question.  A Minster was a building that was more than just a church but acted also as a town hall.  We're going to see the York Minster either this weekend or early next week.  We haven't decided yet.  We are all a bit tired so we're going to take a nap and then figure out what we plan on doing over the next few days.

Once we were finished at the Minster Mom bought a few postcards and those she wrote, had us sign, applied stamps and then posted.  All right there too!

With that done I was getting hungry so we had to figure out what we were going to do.  There's a place in town called Cactus Jack's and yes, it's a tex-mex place.  I was curious and interested so we walked over and it's only open for dinner on a thursday.  Are you kidding me?  How lame.  LAME!  Did I mention that that's lame?

We then decided that we'd save more money getting a roast chicken at Tesco.  And we did.  We had bread and cheese at home already so Mark ran in, bought a £4 roast chicken and we took it home, ate it with the bread & Leicester (pronounced less-ter) cheese and copious amounts of Diet Coke (and they're not even paying me for the ding!).

It's now 1500 and I am tired.  Mark & I were up at 4:30 this AM and I think it's time for a nap.  I love naps but I feel as if I should be doing something but I don't think that that's going to happen really.  It's been warm and annoyingly muggy all day as the sun's been out, there's been a lot of water in the atmosphere but none of it was falling.  I don't do well when I'm tired, hungry and irritated by the mugginess of the weather.

I had originally planned on making mead braised pork chops but I'm not so sure I'm going to be hungry enough later this evening to even want to think about it.

I suppose we shall see.

And keep your eyes peeled for the Day 3 pictures on Facebook 'ere long.

As for me, I'm snoozing!   

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy Independence Day!


The sun has sunk below the horizon and the day here in England is coming to a close.  I spent the first 4th of July outside of my home and it was different.  Mom is here so it was nice to spend the day with her and Mark.

We started the day with a nice breakfast, or rather, a nice brunch since it was past 10 when we finally ate.  And then we headed into town.  Mark had a meeting at 2 so Mom & I wondered about for a bit on our own. 

Hull Trinity Church

Pretty Windows!

We eventually made our way to the Trinity Church that was built about 700 years ago.  It's a bit old and really cool.  Of course I just happen to like really old churches.  This is where pretty much anyone who is anyone was baptized here.  Mark & I were originally thinking about attending this church and while it would be really cool, the Lord steered us in a different direction.

Baptismal

But my favorite part of these old churches is innards, such as the windows.  Trinity Church also has a beautiful baptismal made out of hull marble, which is crushed shell.  If you look closely (which this picture doesn't do) you can actually see tiny pieces of different shells.  Many, many famous people were baptized in this thing, including Wilberforce, who was the main man behind the abolition movement here in England.  GB did away with slavery long before we did.  There's even a movie about it called Amazing Grace.  I've not seen it because I've been told it's fairly sad but also uplifting.

Mark describing how he'd get to the pillars from the floor

After Mark's meeting he met up with us at the church and instantly started thinking about how he could move about the building a la Assasins Creed.  I'm telling him, no darling.  I think he's played that game too much.  :)  Much like all churches of this era, there was the nave (where we are in this picture) and several more different areas.  Take, for example, the picture directly above us.  One thing interesting about the church is that the nave had no pews originally and so the unwashed masses had to stand for the entire service.  However, during the 19th century they put in pews.

Pew Lxxvii

Each one had it's own unique number and each was decorated with hand carved hand rests.

Pew hand rest

Pew hand rest

a married couple

Another thing I love about these old churches is that they have tombs inside of them!  How cool is that?  Yes, we're just going to have a random tomb here, inside the church.  The Beverley Minster is filled with tombs like this.  It also happens to be the object of our journey on Thursday!  There are also gravestones on the floor and when I mean on the floor I actually mean, the gravestones are the floor, least the names of the dead are inscribed on the floor.  Some of them are so old that they are worn down by the passage of millions of feet.

tombstone inside the church.  

tombstone outside

And once we were done at the church (and no, this isn't the sum total of pictures, just a few) we meandered about a bit more and found the Hull Grammar School.  If all the who's who of Hull went to Trinity Church then they went to Hull Grammar School.  It's now the hands on history museum.

Why did Victorian children work?

What was it like to live on a Victoria street?

so yeah, it's really, really old.  See, there's Wilberforce again.  There was a huge section of what life was like for children during the Victorian era (not so great compared to modern times).  This section really makes a person glad to have things like running water.  One thing you don't get a sense of, unless you live in one of these buildings (which I currently am, unfortunately) is how poorly built these things are.  These buildings are hovels and each room has to have a fireplace (now boarded up).  Behind each house is an alley that leads to the outhouse.  These alleys allowed people to come in each morning and dispose of the waste. Urine would be used for tanning and poo was probably turned into fertalizer.  There's a tannery not far from here and when they're open for business you can smell it!


Once we were done with the museum we headed back into town center to find someone who could answer the question: why won't the O2 sim card work on mom's verizon iPhone4s.  Apparently it's not been properly unlocked so Mom needs to email verizon and have someone unlock it for her... or have Apple do it.  Either way it's frustrating.


And then it we went to the tourist information centre (or TIC as Mark kept calling it.  He kept saying tick and I had no idea what he was saying.  Then he told me he was saying TIC not tick.  I accused him of speaking British at me.)  where mom bought some postcards.  So check your mailboxes in a week or so and if you sent mom your addy then you should have a postcard coming your way.


After that it was time to go home and start some supper for the 4th.  We had some british beef (meh, it ain't exactly USDA choice), mashed potatoes and corn on the cob.  And for dessert I whipped up some whipped cream (they have it here but it tastes funny-no sugar nor vanilla added) and we had ice cream inferior cheesecake (I'm not sure what kind of cream cheese they used and if there was any sour cream added).


All in all, it was a good day.  We ended it trying to watch 1776 but it wouldn't let us so we watched Up instead.  After that it was bed time.


And thursday shall be an entirely new day and full of new adventures!

Mommy's Here!

For the last few months my mom has been been planning on visiting Mark & me here in England.  She arrived this morning and we picked her up from the airport in Manchester.  Her plane arrived 20 minutes early and we got stuck in traffic so we were late picking her up.  But we have her!

As soon as I saw her I shouted MOMMY!  Some people looked at me oddly but then I haven't seen my mother in 10 months so they can shove off.  I put a brand new, 02 sim card into her phone but her phone rejected it, wanting only her verizon sim card.  It was frustrating to say the least!

Eventually we gave it up and went home.  We had a 2 hour car drive home over the M62 (the highest motorway in England at 1221'!)  Our satnav doesn't always make it clear that stay to the left doesn't mean get into the left hand land and so we ended up leaving the motorway and we got lost a little until the sat nav could redirect us.

Eventually though we arrived in Hull.  We stopped at home, unloaded Mom's baggage and took a look at what she brought.  It was at this time she went to wash out her contacts and she cut her hand on her razor.  Mark put a bandaid on it, but she bled through that in record time then he patched her up.

One we were ready to head out,  we headed to St. Stephen's Shopping Centre (a mall) and we had a late lunch of hamburgers at the Handmade Burger co. and then we did some grocery shopping.  And because her phone was still rejecting the new sim we went to O2 to see what was up.  The woman said that the phone was unlocked but we needed to connect it to iTunes.

So we finally went back home, I plugged her phone into Bob (my powerbook), connected Blue (her iPhone) into iTunes and, severa hours later, it's still rejecting the new sim... sigh.

But now it's a quarter past 7 and we are eagerly awaiting bedtime.  Mom's been up since 4 PDT (noon GMT) yesterday and she's not slept since.

I think we're all going to sleep well tonight.

God is Good

I remember as a child there was an MC Hammer song in which he sang, “you gotta pray just to make it today.”  And he was right.

Those of you who have been following know that things have been… tight, to say the least for Mark & me over the course of these last few months.  By the Grace of God and monthly financial support from his father, some money from my mother and some from his, we’ve managed to scrape up rent, car insurance, and enough petrol to do the very basics.  Oh, and we’ve managed to make sure we’ve had enough food to keep us from starving.  The cats eat better than we do.

But through it all we’ve been praying, ceaselessly, as was commanded to us by God.  It’s always easy to pray when we need things, much harder, at times, to remember to pray when things are going as they should.  And, as I’ve been saying, all it takes is a little bit of faith.

Last week Mark & I went to the church to get some prayer and it was good.  It’s always nice when the pastor spends some time to get to know you, to pray for you and then invite you to prayer that evening.  We did and we got even more prayer.  We left feeling… blessed.  If you’ve ever had anyone pray for you then you know how we felt.

But still… the bad news kept coming.  Mark’s housing benefits were being suspended.  We had no money to pay the rent next month.  They needed certain information from me to determine if Mark is still eligible for housing.  No.  They think we (because of my student loans) make too much money to be eligible.  And they want every penny they’ve given him over the course of the last 9 months back.  We have a few months before they’re going to start asking us to pay it back.

And then we get even more news that it might be the case that his job seeker’s is going to disappear.  A few posts ago I detailed how much it’s going to cost us to have the basics and we were getting about £200 less than what we needed to pay everything we need for the month.  His father’s been giving us some money every month and that’s helped  more than we could ever say.

But we’re still not sure where the money for the rent for July is going to come from, we don’t now where the money for the insurance is going to come from.  So we prayed, and we prayed and we kept our eyes on the Lord and we had faith.  Even when it seemed as if God was not listening, we kept our faith.

After all, He brought us thus this far, hasn’t He?  And if we lost faith in God, then we’re really in trouble.  And I am amazed at the level of faith displayed by Mark.  For someone who was never raised a Christian, his faith in the Lord is awe inspiring.  And that faith in the Lord is not without cause.

A few days ago we get a call from Dad who tells us that he’s sending Mark some money for the rent.  We began to cry.  It’s going to cost him some, but he and Mom are going to help us with the rent for July.  Mark & I are determined, no matter what they say, to pay them back.  So we thanked God for such a blessing.

And then his In Training advisor calls him to let him know he’s set Mark up with an interview for a company that makes cleansers of various sorts for various companies.  And we praised God for the possibility of such a job.  It’s factory work and it might not be inspiring but it’s work and it is a blessing.  And if this is where the Lord can do His work through Mark, then so be it.  We shall go where the Lord leads us.

And then the other day his Uncle calls and says that he and his son want to help us out.  They were willing to come down on a Friday to give us the money.  I cannot begin to describe the tears of humility and joy that we then shed at such an offer.  This is his uncle and his cousin who are helping us out in this time of need.  Who does that?  His family, that’s who.  Mark & I are firm that we will pay back, somehow, this generosity.

And so we thanked the Lord.

So now the Lord has provided us rent for a month and car insurance for the next couple of months.  And all through the generosity of his family.

August is but a month away and though we hadn’t thought about what we were going to do for rent, we are focusing on the here and now.  I have been fully confident that the Lord has a plan for Mark and that plan includes some sort of an income.

This morning Mark’s phone rings.  I hear him talking and instantly my heart clenches, I grow tense.  Over the last few months anything coming through the post or anyone calling has been a reason for concern.  Instead, it’s his uncle.  His aunt & uncle had been talking last night and they have a house that belonged to her mother just sitting empty that they are offering us the use of for as long as we might need it.  Mark immediately told his uncle that we’d take care of it, maintain it, do whatever fixing needing done.  And we told him we’d come down on Friday to take a look at it to see if we’d like it.  (I’m willing to take this sight unseen.  Talk about a god-send)

While at his interview thing today, Mark was told that he’s been scheduled to work today, tomorrow and Friday at this cake factory place where he worked a couple of shifts.  He has been trying to call to get more shifts but they’ve not returned any calls for work.  4 shifts is a little over 30 hours a week.  He only needs to work about 30h/week to pay all our most basic bills.  So we are going to pray that they have work for him every single day.

And now we need to call back his uncle and let him know we can’t come Friday and if he gets work Saturday then we’ll come on Sunday… right after church.

God is good

All the time

All the time

God is good

The Story of Job

You know the Story of Job.  If not, then I'll sum it up for you.  Job was a man back in the old testament who was faithful to God.  One day the devil says to God, I bet that if he got nothing but bad stuff happen to him, he'd not be so faithful.  To which God said, wanna bet?  And so the Devil tested him.  And big time.  Job lost all of his flocks and when his friends said, dude, that sucks- Job proved faithful to God.  Then Job lost his fields and his friends again told him that sucks big time, why don't you just curse God and die?  And yet Job remained faithful.  This went on until he even lost his children, causing more and more remarks of suckage and curse god and die remarks.  Even so, Job remained faithful to God.  The Devil cursed this man big time and each time he did, Job still remained faithful to God.  Eventually the Devil had to admit defeat and  God once again made the devil his bitch.    Once the tests were over, God rewarded Job his faithfulness by making him far wealthier than he had ever before been and Job died many years later fully blessed and quite happy.

Which brings me to the Story of Mark.

Mark is not a man of faith but he's learning and yet he seems to be tested.  This is also a story of Emily, a girl who knew that things were going to be hard and still elected to leave a better circumstance to be with him.  She is a woman of faith and always has been.  And they are being tested.  At least it feels that way.

My previous post was about faith and it seems as if we need it now as things are going from bad to worse.

In the last 3 years Mark's had an amazing run of luck in not finding a job despite diligently sending out applications, his luck has, so far, proven unbroken.  Sometime after the new year, he informed the housing benefits people that I had moved in with him, that I was an international student.  Nothing more was done.  Until this last week.

Last Monday he gets a call asking him if he could come in at 1:30 for a 2:00 start time to work at a factory doing temporary work.  He said yes.  Of course he did, it's money in the bank.  He returned Wednesday and was offered a time for thursday.  But this isn't allowed.  Work too much and he has to sign off, loosing all of his benefits package... which barely pays the rent yet alone anything else.

He then finds out that working those 15.5 hours was enough to reduce his job seekers by 15.5 hours... fine that's fair.  But those few hours might have meant he might also lose his housing as well.  So, by working, he can lose everything?  And this for a job that's hardly permanent, might not be available the following week?  Oh boy, where can we sign on the dotted line?

And today he gets a letter in the mail thanking him for informing him that his partner is living with him and because of that, they've suspended all housing benefits until further notice.  Further notice being proof of my eligibility to be in the UK, how much money my loans have brought/ are bringing in, and my National Insurance Number.  If I don't have one, I must get one.  All before they can decide if he's still due housing benefits.  So I call to get one and it'll take 7-10 days for the NIN application to arrive.  And then they wanted to know if he's made sure to tell job seekers about me.  Joy.

And then he calls the factory company to see if there're any positions and he is told we'll call you if something opens up. Oh yeah... this is going to work great.

And right now, it's pretty hard to see the silver light at the end of the tunnel.  The only thing we can do is hope that he can sell some avon to bring in a few shekels to make our payments.

So how much does it cost to live a month?
Rent: £425 ($666)
Water: £30 ($47)
Phone/Internet: £45  ($70)
Gas: £10  ($15)
Electricity: £20  ($31)
Council Tax: £?
TV Tax: £12  ($18)
Mobile Phones: £30 for both  ($47)
RCN membership: £4  ($6)
Car Insurance: £162 ($253)
Petrol: £20  ($31)
Food & pet stuff: £60   ($94)  (barest, barest, barest essentials)

for a grand total of £818 pounds, give or take a few.  So we'll round it up to about £830  (about $1300) we need to survive a month.  And that is without the thrills of say, diet coke or anything that isn't bread, & meat, or cat food.

So I have to ask, where's the silver lining? Is this a test of faith?  It's very easy to wonder if one's faith is being tested when it seems as if God is ignoring every single prayer.  Please Lord, let Mark get this job... a no answer sounds very similar to not yet.  In fact, it's much easier to infer a NO when one gets nothing, no indication that one is being heard.

And I know there are those of you out there telling me that I'm being stupid, that there is no God and luck is what we make of it.  I know there are those of you who are saying, dude, that really sucks, I'll keep sending you good vibes (which is prayer, isn't it?).  And I'm sure there are even some of you who are out there saying, man, why don't you curse god and die?

But if this is a test of my faith then I shall be true to the Lord and I though I shall worry and cry and get sick in frustration and anger, I still shall, each day arise and bless the Lord for the gifts He's given me.  Such as Mark.

But I really do, seriously wish that the Lord would start opening doors instead of closing them.  In fact, I'm ready for some small sign that the Lord has found some favor in us.

And all the people said?

A Funny Little Thing Called Faith

Faith is a funny thing.  We believe that something or someone will come through for us.  Sometimes it's because we know from past experience of a person's reliability.  We have faith our car will take us to work in the morning because it has every day since we bought it.  But sometimes there are no reason faith is based upon something far less tenuous; sometimes it's based on a belief, nothing more than the merest whisper of the belief that someone, somewhere is out there and is listening to our hopes, and dreams.

I have faith in people.  Whether that faith is that they will perform good deeds or bad ones is irrelevant, there is faith in human agency.  I have faith that when I wake up in the morning I'll be next to my Gunton.  If have faith that if I call my mommy she'll be right there, telling me what I need to do and giving me a helping hand.

I also have faith in God.  This faith is a funny thing because God doesn't respond to our faith in the way we think He should. We pray to him for a job.  We apply for jobs, we interview for jobs and we get rejected for those jobs.  What?  Lord, what in the world?!  What part of we need a job do You not seem to understand?  Faith is all well and good but it doesn't pay the rent, or buy food, or pay for the car insurance, or put gas into the car.  It doesn't pay for the cat food either.  And let's face it, we'd rather starve ourselves than the cats.

So how about it?  How can I sit here and still claim I have faith in the Lord?  How is it that I believe that this invisible, Being whom I have never seen, is there?  How can I honestly believe that He'll come through for us?  Especially since I prayed so hard for us to get these jobs we applied for, that we interviewed for, jobs that we did not get.

And I admit, it's hard sometimes.  It's very hard when you've just walked away from an interview thinking that the positive responses you've gotten are a good indication you've gotten the job.  It's hard when you either don't get the call saying congratulations, or you get the e-mail saying sorry but we've decided not to hire you at this time, you are free to try again in 6 month's time.  It's hard because you don't see how it is that your prayers are being answered.  And when you hear nothing from god but wait, wait, wait... it's get very frustrating.

It's frustrating when you just don't know what you're going to do when the landlord wants his money on the first, or when the cupboards show nothing but rice, and potatoes and when there's nothing in the fridge save for old milk and there's nothing but bags of frozen chicken in the freezer.  You start to think of all the ways you can save on money.  We can buy less coffee, I can cut back on Diet Coke.  Which we've already done.  We can stop getting snacks.  Also done.  We can get just the basics, chicken, frozen veg, and some starch.  Done.  We can cancel our phone... nope, internet.  shucks.  We really don't need a landline but we really do need that internet.

I have to admit it gets very frustrating to hear nothing but WAIT.  I don't want to wait.  We've been waiting.  Wait and have faith.  It makes you want to scream, yell, rant and rave.  How is it Lord, that other people have jobs?  How is it that other people manage just fine?  How is it that other people seem to be getting along all right?  How do they do it Lord?  how is it that someone can leave their job and hop straight into another one?  You're not asking them to wait, to have patience.  Why?  Why are you asking it of us?  What then, is wrong with us?  Are we such horrible people that the mere thought of employing someone else is better than employing us?  Do we need a lesson in humility?

And yet I still have faith.  I have anger, I have frustration, I have all of it.  But I still have faith.  Because God does provide.

Just last month Mark & I had nothing.  We had just enough money to either pay for our rent or pay for car insurance but not both.  Oh, and we had just run out of food.  Joy.  We could get food, pay rent, or pay for the car insurance.  No insurance means we legally cannot have a car on the road.  We have no garage to store the car.  And, even if we did, we'd have to register the car as not no the road, and send in our road tax disc (for which we'd get a refund of unused tax).  In frustration, I turn to my amazing mother who then sends us some money.  I did not ask for it, seek it or even think of asking for help.  I know Mummy is broke as well... what with being a teacher in CA and all...

But she sent it all the same.  We were able to pay our rent, pay for our insurance and get food.  And the food we bought is still keeping us going.  So, again, Thank you Mommy!  May you ever be praised!

And now a new month has dawned and we will need to pay our rent, the gas I think we won't have to worry about this month but we still have the electricity to pay.  Then there's the internet bill, money for the  mobile phones, cat food and everything else.  And then we both did not get the jobs we were praying for.

And yet, I still have faith.  No, I have no idea where we're going to get the nearly £700 we need each month.  We don't have £500 coming each month, yet alone 700.  And yet the Lord is still saying to me, patience, have faith.  He will provide.  I don't see it.  I can't.  I can't see beyond my problems, I can't see beyond today what tomorrow will bring.  Who knows, maybe we'll go outside, find a £1 coin in the gutter, put it on a lotto ticket and win several £million in the lottery.  I doubt it, very seriously, as we just don't have that kind of luck.  But somehow, someway, He will give us what we need to make it through another month.

All it requires is a little bit of that funny thing called Faith.  And why do I have it?  Because, He has brought us thus far and I can't imagine that He'd bring us all this way just to abandon us when we need Him the most.

The Loo, Cheers Mate

The Gunton & I were watching the TV show Dexter and in the second season there is an episode when the British character, Lila, says she has to go to the loo.  For the few of you who live under a rock, the loo is a British expression for the bathroom.  In fact, the British seem to have many expressions and euphemisms for the porcelain throne.  And yet I hear none of them.

In the States we frequently say restroom, bathroom, the ladies', the gents' and on occasion we might even use the expression the facilities.  And we might even adopt a few British terms such as the loo.  I know that my mother uses the term the loo frequently.  One thing we don't say however, is the toilet.  The toilet is the thing upon which we do our business (see what I did there?).  When in a restaurant one never sees a sign pointing out the toilets.  We don't ask our children if they have to go to the toilet.

And yet, for the six months I've been in the UK I have not once heard anyone here refer to the bathroom as the loo, the bathroom, the restroom the ladies' the gents' the anything other than the toilet.  Mark's told me that the loo is something that people use to say to children but it has, in recent years, fallen into disuse.

In the States referring to the bog as the toilet is crass and undignified to our ears.  We don't like the sound of it and we definitely would not have a sign in our restaurant that reads 'toilet'.  When I asked The Gunton about it not being crass to their ears he replied, "We're English, that's what we do."

So the next time you hear someone who is supposed to be British use the term Loo on TV or whatnot you can suspect that the writer might not be all too hip on current expressions for the crapper.

This then led me to think about other things that are typically British and it brings me to the word Cheers. I can already hear you groaning and begging me to please not ruin another assumption about the British.  No, I'm not.  When we use Cheers, it's usually only when we're lifting a pint and raising a toast to someone or something.  The Irish say Slianté, the Germas have Prost and we share Cheers with the British.  But they use it far more than something to say when drinking a pint of Pimms.

Cheers means 'Thanks' or 'Thank you'.  When getting off the bus it is perfectly acceptable to say cheers to the bus driver as you get off.  If someone hands you a cup of tea a simple cheers is all that's required.  In fact, I hear cheers far more than I hear thank you.  I think the only people who say thank you are non-natives such as myself.  Of course, you have to say it with the dropped R that is so much a part of the various British accents or else it doesn't sound right.  You can't say it like an American with those hard Rs or else it sounds really, really bad.  As you can imagine I always say thank you.

Mate is an interesting one.  When we think of using the word mate we usually think of Australia.  Every American born tries to do his best Mick Dundee with a 'good'ay mate' and we fail usually.  Mate is a very common term used here as well, which might not surprise some of you.  I am still thrown off when people refer to their friends as mates because my mind goes to a different meaning automatically.  In Hull people will use mate when speaking to anyone.  Where we would say, 'thanks man', the Hullians will say 'cheers mate'.

An interesting thing about 'mate' though is that its use is cultural. As I said, in Hull, it isn't uncommon to hear someone call anyone mate as would say 'man' to a stranger.  Mark's paternal family, however, comes from an area in London where ones uses it only to close friends and family.  While he will call his father, cousins, uncle, and son mate, he calls the stranger on the street buddy or pal.

So there you have it, a few interesting tidbits about typical British expressions that you might or might not have known or cared.

Until next time-

EHM

Getting a UK Driver's License

So you're from the US and you want to drive in the UK.  It's not as bad as it sounds and you will get used to driving on the wrong side of the car on the wrong side of the road.  It just takes a bit of practice and time.

If you are going to be in the UK for no more than 12 months after first arriving then don't get a UK DL.  You won't need to.  You are legally allowed to drive on your US DL for up to 12 months after arriving.  If you plan on getting a car, there will be a few companies that will give you insurance though some will not.  If you get a quote from Admiral ignore it, they only insure UK license holders... despite what the online quote gives you.  If you plan on being and driving in the UK past the 12 month mark, then pay attention, you need to know how to go about getting one.

1.  Go to the local DLVA office.  You can find them for England, Scotland, and Wales.  You pay a £50 fee for the provisional license.  They will ask you for your current DL and your passport.  The DVLA will take them but they will mail them back to you and they will return to the address you provide about the same time as your card arrives.  If there isn't a local DVLA then you can go to the Post Office and ask them for an application for a provisional license.  Fill out the form, submit your passport and you can mail it off.  Just read the directions.  Fortunately there was a DVLA office just half an hour away so I was able to head there.  If you do end up having to submit your DL have no fear, you can still drive.  If you get pulled over by the police you can show them your receipt (if you went into an office) or inform them that your DL is in the mail and they will probably inform you that you need to show up at the police station in X amount of time to show proof.

2.  Once you have your provisional DL you will now need to take the Theory Test.  This is nothing like the written test we all took ages ago.  This test is £31 each time you have to take it so I suggest you study. There are several apps for the iPhone to help you in this endeavour.  I downloaded the official DSA theory app as well as the AA's theory app as well as a few others that were free.  There is computer software out there you can buy to help you pass but really, I think that these apps are just fine.  Each of these apps has a study section to them.  Learn them and then take the tests for each section.  Once you have done this then take the mock tests.  You will be given 50 questions to answer in 57 minutes.  In your test you will have the option of going back and checking your answers.  Feel free to apply for your exam at the earliest time and then study, study, study, study.  You can't take the practice tests too many times.  There is a second portion to the theory test and this is known as the hazard test.  You will be given 14 clips with a hazard, one clip has 2.  You must mark when the hazard starts.  You will be given 0-5 points depending on when you spot the hazard.  There are apps to help you with this portion of the test as well.  You will be there for a couple of hours.  As I said, it's not easy, so be prepared.

3.  Once you've passed your theory I would advise that you sign up for some driving lessons.  I know that you've been driving for ages and you've gotten a feel for being on the wrong side of the road but the UK driving test is £62 each time you take it and it isn't easy.  It's hard, it's really hard  A driving instructor will show you what you need to know in order to pass the exam.  If you have never reversed into a side road, then it's probably best to hire someone who knows what is on the test and what you need to do, such as put the handbreak on whenever you come to a stop light.  Not doing that could end up failing you.  Once you and your instructor feel as if you're ready then go ahead and book your test.  You will need your Theory pass certificate number so don't lose that piece of paper!  You are allowed 16 faults on your driving exam.  I passed mine with 13.  Do note that you will be asked to sign your exam sheet stating you've been in the UK for at least 185 days.  If you are a US citizen then you don't have to worry about that.  Just let your examiner know that you haven't been and you don't have to have been in the UK for 185 days (6 months).  He'll probably have to double check but all you should have to do is cross out the 185 days.  Although, if you are from the EU then you would have to have been in the UK for 185 days... but then, if you're from the EU and have a DL issued from a country in the EU then you can just exchange your DL for a UK one.

It is important to make it clear that everyone in the UK drives a manual.  In fact, they think Americans are pretty lame for having so many automatics and I can't argue.  It is pretty lame.  If you have never driven a stick before then a driving instructor will teach you.  They have lots of practice with teaching people how to drive a manual so don't fret.  They know what they're doing.  You will have to find an instructor with an automatic if that's the path you really want.  And if it is then do be aware that if you take your driving test in an automatic you will only be legally allowed to drive an automatic.  But if you take your driving test in a manual, you can drive both.  And do make note that not all instructors or companies are the same.  I, personally, would go with the AA.  They are the UK's version of AAA.

Driving Test

I should have had my UK driver's license already.  I had a test on the 20 of January that didn't exactly go according to plan.  I had had a 2 hour session from a qualified AA driving instructor just so I know what would be expected of me in the exam.  I also had him examine the car to make sure that it was okay to take the test in.  He said the car looked fine on the outside and that he sees no concerns about me passing my test.  Cool.  I was ready for it, I was going to kick some serious driving test butt!

Apparently, a faulty light is all that it takes to terminate an exam.  Drat.  I was, to say the least, bumbed for several days.  I really wanted that DL and NOW!

I came home and immediately got another test for the earliest test date, which was today, 2-15-12... joy.  I tried to get in touch with my original driving instructor so I could use his perfectly working vehicle for the exam, but I was unable to get a hold of him via phone calls or text so I asked The Gunton if his instructor wouldn't mind.  Heretofore I shall now refer to Mark's Driving Instructor as The Win.  The Win showed up about 7:10 this morning with the greetings of good evening.  The sun wasn't completely up yet and what little was there, was hiding behind clouds.  The Win hands me the key to the car, verifies I do, in fact, have everything I need for the exam today and tells me to drive off.

Immediately he finds things that I am doing wrong and he tells me.  I'm not steering correctly.  There is a push-pull method that he's been teaching the Gunton.  It's the safest way to steer.  So I had to be mindful of that.  And I wasn't using my mirrors in the correct order.  When turning right, rearview, left mirror, right mirror- or something like that.  I also wasn't using the handbreak properly.  I was using it at a red light, like a good girl, but I wasn't looking around before releasing it and going forward.  For that hour The Win patiently corrected me, told me what I am doing wrong and told me what I needed to do in order to pass this test.

If anyone were to ask either The Gunton or myself, one would know that I was very nervous and anxious about my upcoming test.  I know of an American woman who has been here for ages and while she eventually passed her Theory test, she has yet to pass her driving test.  What would make me think I could pass mine??

I had an hour with The Win.  At one point he told me to reverse parallel park.  I don't parallel park, there's a reason for that.  Little Brother is one of those annoying people who can get into a teeny, tiny space, and do it perfectly, without much manoeuvring.  I am not he.  The Win then had me reverse into a street.  I still don't understand why they test for that but they do.  Apparently this is a skill set that is seen as important here in the UK.  He had a few comments but, as the hour was coming to a close, he needed to get me onto the road and towards the test center.  He then had be back into a parking spot.  Now, this has always been something I have been able to do easy peasy.  For some reason it seems to be a challenge... maybe because the few times I've done it have been trying to prove that I can back into a spot and I do pay attention when I do.  The Win then went over a few items that the Test Man might ask me.

The first thing the Test Man did is to check my eyesight.  I had to read the plates of a car that was about 20 meters away.  My eyesight is obviously good, else I'd have been told I need glasses.  So far, so good.  He then tells me to go ahead and get into the car as he went around it and checked the condition of the machine.  The Win thought it'd be good for the Gunton to be in the car with me, and, as I was allowed to have someone come along for the ride, he agreed. Of course, he had to act as if he wasn't there, could not react to anything I was doing, could not look around and distract me, could not, in fact, behave in any manner that there was a third person in the car.  If he had, the test would be terminated.  The only time I remembered that he was there was when I looked into the rearview mirror.

The second part of the test is what is known as the Show Me, Tell Me.  The Test Man can ask how do can you tell the oil level, the break fluid level, the window washer level.  These are all done under the hood and you point to the appropriate thing and explain how you'd check the levels.  He might ask about horns and break lights... there are a lot he might ask.  This is general information to see if you know anything about cars.  They don't expect you to be a mechanic, just able to determine whether or not you know a few things.  I was asked how to turn the high beams on.  Because this is a Show Me, I had to turn the electricity on show him I knew how to do that.  The Win didn't show me the lights on his car but, as this was a Ford Focus, I figured it out.  Yes, the AA's standard instructor car is the Ford Focus.  He then also asked me how I would tell if there was something wrong with the break and I told them there would be an indicator light on the dashboard.  Where, I didn't know.  And I suppose that was alright because then he told me to head out when I was ready.  I took a deep breath and tried to remember everything The Win tried to get me to change in just 60 minutes.

I have a problem with crossing my arms when I'm turning the wheel, and I had to remember not to do that.  I caught myself several times about to do it then I corrected myself.  The Win told me that it would be a fault each and every time I crossed my arms over.  I musta done something right because the Test Man only marked me down once for it.  Yes!  The next part of the test was independent driving.  This is to test whether or not you can follow street signs.  The Test Man had me pull over to the side, when it was safe to do so.  It didn't seem safe to me as there were cars trying to get to work but, he insisted so I stopped.  The Win told me I needed to make sure I was obvious in my use of mirrors as I was pulling over.  And I needed to stop, pull up on the handbreak and then put the car in neutral.  This was an indication that I had completed a manoeuvre.  He wanted me to drive towards Cottingham.  So I followed the signs towards Cottingham.  On the first roundabout I made a mental note that I needed to turn right.  On the second round about, I voiced that Cottingham was the 4th exit and then I counted each exit, and, on the fourth one I looked around, checked my mirrors (not necessarily in the proper order), indicated and moved out.  I did get us to Cottingham.  Another part of this is that you have to remember a set of directions.  Mine were to turn right at the end of the street, right at the end of that street and left at the roundabout.  That was the conclusion of the independent driving.

The next thing he tested me on was the reversal.  This could be one of three things: reverse into a parking spot, reverse parallel parking or something else.  The Test Man had me reverse parallel park.  I mentioned before I don't parallel park, and I certainly don't reverse parallel park.  I don't like it, I don't do it.  Again, I am not Little Brother.  Maybe if I had more training with it I could it with more comfort.  The requirements for this are, you have to reverse parallel park in front of another car reversing no more than two car lengths.  I did it, came to a stop, put on the handbreak and he looks at me and says, are you finished?  And I said, yes?  And he replied, are you sure?  And I replied, no.  So I reversed some more and he was satisfied with this and then he told me to go off whenever I was ready.  I did the panoramic sweep, checked the mirrors, placed the car into first, got to the biting point (when the car is perfectly balanced between the clutch and gas) and a car came, looked about again and a car pulled out a driveway.  Finally I was able to go.  A second part of this was to pull up behind a car.  That I could do.

And then we were back on the road and he takes me to an intersection and I see Beverly Road!  Hey, I know where that is!  I live just off of Beverley Road!  He gives me directions and I realize that it's getting quite late and he is sending me back to the test center, as is confirmed when he has me turn left onto Clough Road.

I pull into the parking lot and Test Man wants to know if it's okay for Mark to be there and if I would like to have The Win there as well.  So I say, sure and I indicate to The Win that he should come forward.  Test Man was running late so he went through what he needed to go through at the end of the test.  You are allowed 16 faults and he said that I need more practice.  I said, yeah, I know.... there are things I need to work on.

But ya know, don't care.  Have license.

Had I taken the test on the 20th, I realize now that I would have failed.  The other guy never corrected me with my steering, never told me I needed to correct my behaviors when coming off of the break.  All these things The Win told me to correct to pass my test the other never told me.  The Win suggested to the Gunton that when in the car, he politely remind me that I am not steering in the correct, proper and safe manner.  I dunno if I am going to be overly fussed about that to be honest.  I will, however, probably continue to put the hand break on when at a red light.  It is safer, it's not a big deal and it does allow one to take one's foot off the pedals and relax for a few minutes until the light turns green... or rather, yellow then green as it does here in the UK.

So yeah, that's why he's now called The Win.  Because if he hadn't insisted on that hour before the exam, I'd have failed it.